bandbutts:
If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
(via borinq)
31,029 notes
they-call-me-wonder-woman:
h0odrich:
It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth
This speaks to me on a deep emotional level.
(via laughbitches)
47,236 notes
passion:
how to have a flat stomach
- remove all of your organs
(via laughbitches)
18,775 notes
i really hate when im listening to my ipod and i move my arm or something and then my headphones rip out of my ears like what the fuck i trusted you
(Source: jesuschristvevo, via inbox)
152,291 notes
iwishihadafather:
*picks up cat* *makes cat dance* *puts cat back down*
(via eugeneee)
13,871 notes
snorlaxatives:
jamie lynn spears better hope i don’t catch her ass on the streets she’s dead to me for getting zoey 101 cancelled
(via thetumblr-thisisatumblr)
13,144 notes
pizza:
rockandkrull:
pizza:
i don’t understand why parents say ‘i’m very disappointed in you’ like i don’t care i’m very disappointed that mcdonalds doesn’t deliver but u don’t hear me complaining about it
actually in new york they deliver so whats your excuse
i live in australia and im 103% sure they don’t deliver from new york to australia so whats YOUR excuse for leaving a shitty comment on my text post
(via eugeneee)
124,274 notes
tennants-companion:
so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack
(via laugh-until-you-drop)
90,963 notes